On Sunday, April 28th, 2019 at 10:27pm, the world lost one of the kindest, most caring and funniest soul… my mom.
Bibiana Costarella Khan was born and raised in Gioiosa Ionica, Calabria, Italy. She moved to Montreal, Canada in the ’70s to become an Italian teacher and daycare provider. In 1999, she and her family moved to Fort Lauderdale to start a new life. She was passionate about art, cooking, writing, and helping others. Bibiana was a dedicated mother first and foremost. She treasured her children and embraced every moment with them. She had a vivacious personality and always made people around her laugh. She made friends everywhere she went.
7 weeks… My heart aches everyday since your death. I have spur of the moment screaming and cries for you. I wish for so many things. To feel you. To smell you. To talk to you face to face. In light of all of my pain and shock, I do believe in an afterlife more now than before. You’ve showed up in so many ways. One of the most shocking moments of our lives after your passing was a few days later. One of your brothers (my uncle) has been suffering through a rare type of cancer (Myelofibrosis) for the past 3 years and was nearly in his last days when the doctor said he has been cured of his cancer. My mom was so sad that her brother wasn’t going to be able to pull through this. She cried and spoke about him everyday until her death. She mentioned quite a few times, that she would give her life to save him. It’s amazing how life is. My mom’s death was unexpected and shocking to all of us. I was at the hospital on April 28th. The medical team worked on my mom for over an hour to bring her back. I waited outside her room watching them take turns to save her life. She was a strong woman. She missed death so many times until that night. You left us too soon. You will be missed every second of every day for the rest of my life.
To celebrate the life of a remarkable woman, I’ve decided to post up my mom’s eulogy that I read at her funeral. Here it is…
Before I begin, I want to mention that I kept a few pieces of my mom’s wardrobe. I have altered one of her skirts to fit me and I am wearing it today to honor her.
We always knew what an amazing, generous and kind woman she was, and this last week, the outpouring of love and support has proven this to be true.
I honestly do not know how I can adequately describe my mom with words. She lived her life in the most positive way. She saw the good in everything and encouraged others to do the same. She was a true role model. A person who possessed qualities we should all try to imitate.
My mom cared deeply for everyone she knew, whether you were her family, friend or a person she just met. She was always willing to help out someone in need. She had the kindest heart of anyone we knew. Her home was always filled with friends and family. All of our friends called her “mom”, because she was like a mom to everyone.
She was a person so filled with light. Everyone loved her. She was a generous, loving, supportive and unselfish woman who always put other people before herself. I know that I am the person that I am today because of her influence.
She has touched the lives of so many people and even though she is gone, her memory will live on in all of our hearts forever. Her spirit has not left us. Everyone who was ever touched by her in his or her lifetime should have faith that she will be watching over them because that is just the kind of person she was.
One of the most important things in my mom’s life was gardening, and she took great pride in her plants and flowers. Gardeners are special people. It takes patience and perseverance and a love for living things to grow a garden or a beautiful flower. Gardening is tedious and hard work, but there is something that gardeners know and experience that others sometimes do not. There is a beauty and a satisfaction in seeing the result of our labor grow and come to completion. There is a peacefulness that can come over us as we care for and nurture the flowers and plants in a garden. In nurturing living things and helping to bring beauty and peace to the world, gardeners make a difference in the world and make their lives and the lives of those who see their gardens richer and fuller.
My mom’s core motivating force was… LOVE and it was her love that has had a profound impact on the essence of who I am. She believed in me, and she believed that I always knew what was best for me. My mom lives on in my heart.
I miss you, Mommy. It was a great privilege to be your daughter. I love you more than infinity.